As I find myself in a bit of an unbalanced place this week, I thought it best to focus on some good things...or, at the very least, some things to get my mind off why in the heck I am in this funk.

In no particular order:

- this:

is what 36 looks like. This is a VERY SMALL SAMPLING of the grey that  grows out of my head. This little situation will be rectified tomorrow night.

- these:

are our new bedroom curtains. They come from West Elm, and, it would appear upon further inspection are now $10 less than they were when I ordered them one week ago. It's a good thing that I love them so. Aren't they just the perfect shade of aqua?

- The white dress in the top right hand corner of this post from Susannah's blog has me in an absolute tizzy.  The photo is originally from The Sartorialist; however, after scrolling through several pages and not finding it, I gave up. That being said, from the moment I saw it, my heart started to beat fast and I immediately went on the great internet hunt to try to track something similar down. Please, help a girl out. If you have seen anything remotely like this in your internet travels, do send me the link?

- I have fallen prey to the harem pant trend. Oh.yes.I.have. When they first started showing up, I shook my head and say, "no way." Um, I have changed my mind and am a little bit obsessed. It will be interesting to see how I feel about them at this time next year.

- This post from Stacie really got me thinking. What an absolutely wonderful way to look at birthdays and aging.  As I was thinking about this, I decided that it was time to once again watch the final episode of Six Feet Under. Like most people who watched and loved this show, this episode was altering for me. It put life and how we live it into perspective, and it came at a time when we were about to embark on a major life change.  Interestingly enough, there were some lines spoken to Claire by Nate that really grabbed me this time around. They are lines that I had never really paid attention to before. In one of the scenes where he appears to her, he talks about the fact that he spent his whole life not moving ahead because he was always scared, never believing he was "ready." This time around, that sentiment really resonated with me, as I often times feel exactly the same way. And, of course, in his fictitious case, he died at 40 years old. Powerful lessons to think about, especially when you have just "not celebrated" your birthday. And then, there is always the final montage, which makes me cry my eyes out every time. This version on You Tube begins at the point when Nate is rocking out to "I Just Want to Celebrate." 

- the above video by Liz is gorgeous.

-these:

are the flowers that the boy brought in for me yesterday. :-)

- This:
 

is some of what I have been working on for the next update in the shop.

End of diversion. xo

Unfortunately, we did not follow through on our plans to do joint video blogs throughout the trip to California. I explain why in this video blog post...but it was one of those classic cases of good intentions, but poor follow through...for a myriad of reasons.

It is good to be home, unpacked and settled in again; however, I am feeling the loss of the people who we spent time with while we were away. It was very very difficult to drive away from Mill's home on Wednesday morning, as it was difficult to leave a handful of other people. This trip ended up being far more meaningful and emotional than I ever could have imagined, and thus, on the flip side, I am incredibly grateful that we made the journey and now have the memories of it...forever.

As promised....the first installation. Remember, we are very tired and slap happy.

So, tomorrow we leave for California. It has been nearly three years since I have been back to Ventura and I anticipate that I will be looking at it through new eyes on many different levels.

But, that is just the introduction here. In honor of our visit, my best friend Mill decided to scan some old photos of us and put them on Facebook last week. I thought that I would return the favor by scanning some of my own and sharing them. This is a slightly embarrassing little venture, as damn....did I have some bad hair for much of the time. And, what is up with the WHITE face makeup? But, they are funny and they remind me of another time and place....far far away.

Also, Cean and I will celebrate our 16th wedding anniversary while we are in California, so I thought some photos of the early "ceanandjen" would be appropriate as well.

There are a lot of pictures. Sit back and be entertained. I won't take offense if you laugh. Really, I won't. ;-)

4.27.1991 :: PROM

5.24.1991

5.22.1991

June 1991 :: High School Graduation, Day 1

6.28.1991 :: Jen's 18th Birthday Party @ Cean's House

August 1991 :: before I left for collage

December 1993

6.11.1994 :: Mill's Birthday

Spring 1993 ?? :: First time I had my hair dyed....and it's just a classy picture, don't you think? (smirk)

And now, on to some early photos of Cean and I.....

1989 or 1990?? :: Cean before Jen

February 1991 :: Cean just a wee little bit before Jen (we would have our first kiss weeks later)

June 1991 :: celebrating my 18th birthday

August 1991 :: @ Mill's house and about to celebrate our 6 month anniversary (ha!)

Summer 1991

1991 :: Thanksgiving @ my Mom and Dad's

December 1991 :: New Year's Eve

Spring 1993 ?? :: another classy photo

Cean and I are *hoping* to do a few short video blogs while we are south, as we thought it would be fun to document a bit of our time. It is indeed time to have a little fun.

xo

I mentioned in my last post that I had started to talk into that little camera twice, but decided that I did not want an audience, thus I promptly stopped.

This is not particularly earth shattering; I guess that I just needed to talk it through a bit more and sitting here with my coffee, pretending that you or you or you is sitting across from me and engaging me in the conversation seemed like a good plan.

So, please just pretend that is what it is.

Oh, and one more thing...please disregard that comment about readership being nothing; it is nothing, but it does not need to be mentioned in the midst of this and quite honestly it was just a bit whiny, which really is an unattractive quality I have.  ;-)